When Choosing a Band for Your Wedding

Great music elevates the emotional impact of any event - the processional as you come down the aisle, your first dance as a married couple, or the wild happy energy when your friends and families all rush the dance floor.

Settings, flowers, and decor make parties and weddings visually beautiful, but music has more impact on how much fun people have.  

Dancing to songs you and your guests love is a high point in many weddings. So, it's important to find a band that plays styles of music that mean something to you. But even beyond being able to play songs you like, your band has another job.

The Social Role a Band Plays

I recently attended several weddings as a guest and noticed that, although the bands involved were excellent musicians and made good choices about the songs they played, they had no idea about how to run a party. One of the mothers of the bride reported with great surprise that “they didn’t help us with anything!” She had assumed that all bands are equally good at the social aspects of running a wedding, but this is far from true. 

An excellent band helps the special moments of the wedding go smoothly (introductions, toasts, first dance, dances with parents, cake cutting, whatever you have decided that you want - or don't want!). A clunky approach or non-existent attention to wedding formalities or song requests also marks a lesser band.

Beyond just playing instruments and singing, the band influences the flow and the emotional impact of the entire day. Who can you trust to do this? 

Guiding the flow does not require a Las Vegas MC or a circus barker! 

A graceful, understated approach can often work beautifully. You want someone in charge who knows the difference (!), who understands what you want, can do it, and has the experience and flexibility to do whatever is needed in the moment.

An Appropriate Volume Level

The most common complaint about music at weddings is that it is too loud. Your musicians will control the sonic environment of your wedding day. This is much more important than most people realize. If the band is too loud, it can ruin the experience of the wedding and cause people to leave early.

A Wedding is not a Bar or Club

Some bands understand this better than others do. Consider the types of events your band usually plays and the age groups who will enjoy their music.

The qualities that make a band popular at a club or bar are often the opposite of those that make a band excellent for a wedding.

Bar or concert bands often expect to dominate their surroundings and to play in ways that seriously limit conversation. They also need to have an identity that lets people know what to expect from them. In most cases, this is achieved by developing a style and sound that is relatively consistent from one song to the next. In addition, lead singers and instrumental soloists may develop performance styles that focus all eyes on them. 

Ask yourself how much of this you want at your wedding. In many cases, it’s better to have a more versatile band who will use “the power of the mic” to focus the energy of the party as a whole rather than to draw all attention to themselves. Playing songs in a wide variety of styles lets more of your guests feel included throughout the entire wedding.

Shopping for a Band

Word of mouth from other weddings is still one of the best sources of information. (Check out our Reviews on TheKnot.com or weddingreports.com)

However, when shopping on the web, remember that a website is an indication of the web designer’s skill, not necessarily of the band’s experience in managing social events.

Musical versatility is a tremendous asset since your guests will include a mix of ages, tastes, and backgrounds.

A top-notch band can “read your crowd” and know what to play and when to play it. The very best bands do this while staying true to your personal likes and dislikes.

Check out the band’s reputation and recommendations, listen to their music, see whether you like them. Then talk with them and consider how comfortable you feel about the leader’s experience and approach to playing for you. 

Discuss your special songs with the band leader, get your overall agreement in writing, and enjoy the awesome power of live music at your wedding!